We dye our hair, pluck our brows, pretend we don’t care when we don’t succeed; we all do it in some way, but what I want to know is why we women feel the pressure to do it so often. 

 

We are all victims of our self-doubt. Man, woman, child- all of the human race, at some point at least, second guess themselves and will try to mask some sort of trait. What makes women do it so often, though? We dye our hair because we want to, we pluck our brows because it flatters our faces and we pretend we don’t care because we’re only human but we want to appear invincible; but why do women create a bravado so unnecessarily? Why do we feel pressured to hide ourselves and cocoon our humanity from the world?

 

Now I’m not one to care about much. I won’t shave my armpits for months and lift my arms up to world, I’ll eat spag bol on the tube and wipe my nose on my sleeve. I do this because I am aware that these things do not matter and those that will judge me for it are worse off for it than I am.

 

However, the fact that I have to add that I didn’t shave my armpits for months, meaning I did shave them at some point does show that I too am guilty of cocooning. Even though I don’t care whether the whole of London sees my sprouting under arm, I still feel the pressure to erase it, and the truth is I’m not even sure why. I think it’s because I am more confident without it, but that’s not me- that’s the media, its marketing and it’s the history of razor adverts telling me to be the true woman I am. How is it true if it’s not natural, though?

 

Almost every young woman and teenage girl has used hair extensions. It’s hard to go on a night out and not see a girl with multiple hair extensions in and it’s even got the stage where it’s hard to notice, and not really worthy of notice if girls are wearing them. Why though? To make their hair thicker and longer, obviously. Why do these girls need thicker and longer hair, though?

 

These extensions, in the grand scheme of things, will not make them happier and more confident, that comes from within. If it’s to attract a certain type of guy, well who the hell wants to share any air with a male that is more excited by artificial hair, probably shaved straight off the head of a slum- town Brazilian, than by you as a person?

 

Contouring is another craze that is leaving me dumb-founded. Contouring, from my knowledge, was a makeup technique created to make cross dressers appear to have a feminine bone structure. Amazing; that is great that we have these tools to allow people to be who they feel on the inside. Now women are big on the trend.

 

Women are utilising a technique that makes faces resemble a women’s. Ladies, the fact that you are a woman and have a face means you have a woman’s face and more makeup is not going to make you more of a woman. It’s a confidence thing, I get that. If a girl wants bigger cheek bones or a thinner nose, contouring can do that. At the end of the day the makeup comes off and that girl sees what her bone structure actually looks like; so what has she gained?

 

By caking on this outrageously expensive make up they are cocooning themselves from their insecurities, but what is more important is realising that make up will not give you bigger cheekbones and you cannot live your life afraid to be seen without your make up. 

 

Who cares how big your cheek bones are? Instagram followers? Why are women letting themselves be defined by the amount of likes they get on an app? Women can do whatever they want, I fly the flag high for women doing their thing without caring about whether it pleases others; but wanting to hide your entire face and change your bone structure, to me, doesn’t sound much like you’re doing it for you seeing as you’ll be the only person that knows the truth behind the products.

 

We are people, we are women, and this is an exciting time to be women. Spending so much of our time and energy cocooning ourselves is upsetting. Being a woman is enough.

 

One of the main things women attempt to hide is their feelings. Compassion, upset and even mild interest are feigned off as weaknesses now. Almost every woman I know has pretended they aren’t romantically interested in someone because they are frightened it will scare them off.

 

Even women that aren’t romantically interested but want to have casual sex with someone, are afraid to message the other party to arrange said casual sex because that is too forward. 

 

Since when was it all about their feelings? Regardless of whether it’s a friendship, a friends- with-benefits situation, a one night stand, a family member; all relationships are giving and taking. If you want to spend your evening telling someone how much you love them or having mindless intercourse on the sofa you absolutely can.

 

Your feelings are yours to own and, to be honest I find the whole ‘I have no feelings I’m just a sex robot here to please men’ kind of thing incredibly boring.